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This Is Huntin Humor I've either been told, or have read Thought I'd Share them with You's Enjoy!!!!!!
A group of deer hunters are in camp when they realize that they are running low on provisions.
The group appointed
Joe to get supplies.
Joe went into the store and bought 10 bottles of whiskey, 12 cases of beer and 2 packages of hotdogs.
When
he returned to the camp the group looked in his truck and they asked, "Joe, what in the world are we gonna do with all them
damn hotdogs?"
Morning: 1:00 AM: Alarm clock rings. 2:00 AM: Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed. 2:30 AM: Throw everything
except kitchen sink into pickup. 3:00 AM: Leave for deep woods. 3:15 AM: Drive back home to pick up gun. 3:30 AM: Drive like
crazy to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 AM: Set up camp. Forgot the stupid tent. 4:30 AM: Head for the woods. 6:05
AM: See eight deer. 6:06 AM: Take aim and squeeze trigger. 6:07 AM: CLICK. 6:08 AM: Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
8:00 AM: Head back to camp. 9:00 AM: Still looking for camp. 10:00 AM: Realize that you don't know where camp is.
Afternoon:
Fire gun for help---eat wild berries. 2:15 PM: Run out of bullets---eight deer come back. 2:20 PM: Strange feeling in stomach.
2:30 PM: Realize that you ate poison berries. 2:45 PM: Rescued. 2:55 PM: Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped, throw
up instead. 3:15 PM: Arrive back at camp. 3:30 PM: Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 PM: Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 PM:
Load gun---leave camp again.
Evening: 5:00 PM: Empty gun on bug that is bugging you. 6:00 PM: Arrive at camp -- see
deer grazing. 6:01 PM: Load gun. 6:02 PM: Fire gun. 6:03 PM: One dead pickup. 6:05 PM: Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging
deer. 6:06 PM: Repress desire to shoot hunting partners. 6:07 PM: Fall into fire. 6:10 PM: Change clothing, throw burned ones
in fire. 6:15 PM: Take pickup, leave hunting partners and deer in camp. 6:25 PM: Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block.
6:26 PM: Start walking. 6:30 PM: Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 PM: Meet bear. 6:36 PM: Take aim. 6:37 PM: Fire gun,
blow up barrel that's plugged with mud. 6:38 PM: Mess pants. 6:39 PM: Climb tree. 11:00 PM: Bear leaves. Wrap gun around tree.
Midnight:
Home at last. Fall on knees thanking Maker.
Next day: Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up hunting license
into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail to Game Warden.
A man goes hunting and gets lost in the woods.
Remembering the universal distress signal of
fireing 3 shots, he fires 3 shots into the air and waits.
After an hour he fires 3 more shots. Another hour goes by
and still no one comes to help.
Preparing for the next sequence he says to himself, “I hope somebody comes this
time because these are my last three arrows.”
One morning, a father and his young son were in the forest hunting rabbits. After about an hour,
they finally came across some rabbit tracks. In between the tracks, there were these little round brown pellets, and the son
said to his father, "Dad, what are those?"
The father replied, "Those are smart pills. Try a couple." So the kid grabbed
a couple of them and put them in his mouth. The boy made a funny face and said to his dad, "Ewww! Yuk! They taste like s---t"
The
father replied, "See, you're getting smarter already."
How to drag a deer!
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car.
Another hunter approached pulling
his along too.
"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you
drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the other hunter left, the
two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a
lot easier!"
"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.
All the right equipment!!!
A husband was out hunting until late afternoon...tired and hungry after a long day of hunting,
he finally came in to grab supper and left his gear in his groundblind. His wife decided that she wanted to go out on the woods
and enjoy hunting until the sunset so she went down to the woods and opened the groundblind and got in. Not
long afterwards a gamewarden came by, and asked if she had her hunting license with her. "I'm not hunting" she replied. The warden answered back, "Well perhaps not, but you have all
the equipment. I'm going to have to write you a citation for not having a license."
The wife slightly aggitated but
quick on her feet said to him, "Well, alright. But I'm going to have to call the cops and have you arrested for raping me.".
"What!!" the game warden replied, "I didn't rape you!". To this the woman replied, "Well perhaps not, but you have all the
equipment."
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